Monthly Archives: April 2015

Bridge Reconstruction Just April Fools’ Joke, City Says

The bright orange sign has been out there for weeks — “Road Work Beginning April 1: Expect Delays” — forcing drivers and residents to bite their nails and re-think their summer plans. But city sources revealed that the bridge closure is not happening after all. The signs were placed in an attempt to be more light-hearted […]

Stroaddale gateway signage

Southdale to Rebrand, Establish Stroaddale Preservation District

Edina, Minn — The City of Edina today announced ambitious plans to rebrand the aging Southdale District as “Stroaddale”, and to establish strict historic preservation guidelines to ensure that its low-density, stroad-oriented development is cherished for future generations. Stroaddale District is named for Stroaddale Center, and is roughly bounded by Crosstown to the north, Valley […]

Hilarious faux television promotion featuring large gathering of hipsters on a street corner.

TV’s “Real Renters of Minneapolis” to Debut in 2016

A local production company has completed casting for “The Real Renters of Minneapolis,” which promises viewers a look at the conflict that arises “when people stop living in houses, and start living on top of each other.” The show will be set in The Wedge neighborhood of Minneapolis, the heart of recent battles over development. Filming will coincide […]

Franchise Threatens to Move to AL

Minnesota Commuters United, a franchise in the Professional League of Major League Commuting Professionals, has threatened to move to Birmingham, Alabama (a city without Professional Commuting, relying instead on amateurs) unless it gets both new facilities for daily commutes, and a practice facility in the suburbs, as well as improved training at both the high school […]

minneapolis-drug-medicine-recycling-program

New Recycling Program Offers Residents a Taste of Their Own Medicine

That which does not kill you… can now be put out with your recycling. In what’s being called a natural step toward “zero landfill living,” Hennepin County launched an innovative program last month to collect residents’ unneeded pills and redistribute them through a network of “med pantries.” Residents with a valid prescription can pick up […]

Ramp R.I.P.

In Memoriam: The April 1st Parking Massacre of 2014

MINNEAPOLIS – Dignitaries from Internet comment sections and public meetings around the nation and around the world arrived in Minneapolis early Wednesday for ceremonies marking the first anniversary of the April 1st Parking Massacre. A 9:00 AM service on a windswept Glenwood Avenue sidewalk under Ramp A drew thousands of parkers mourning the over 800 […]

Al's Breakfast - New Location

Al’s Dinkytown Diner Downsizing

Due to an increase in demand, Al’s Breakfast is downsizing to a smaller nearby location. It will move from just north of the Espresso Royale, to the gap just south of that same cafe, adjacent to the China Express. Council Member Frey praised the new slender building. Critics suggested he was “fat-shaming” the existing Diner.