Category: Humor

For Bde Maka Ska, a New Bridge to Honor a New Name

In an effort to boost accessibility and equity, Minneapolis Parks & Recreation Board has announced plans to bridge Lake Street across the north end of Lake Bde Maka Ska (also known as Lake Calhoun). The eight lane bridge is expected to be complete by summer of 2018, and is expected to save tens of thousands of motorists […]

“30 Days of Biking was Just a Prank” Admits Founder

“Why do you think I planned it for April Fool’s Day?” The question hung in the air like a dirigible during yesterday’s press conference in front of Stephen Patrickson’s Elk River apartment building, as the press and bicycling fans, many of whom were not wearing helmets, listened with dismay. According to Patrickson, the so-called “30 days of […]

Hennepin County To Relocate Central Library to Geographic Center of Hennepin County

Medina, Minn — The Hennepin County Board of Commissioners has announced a strategic relocation of the Hennepin County Central Library, to join the ideal location of Hennepin County Public Works in Medina, near the exact geographic center of the County. Since the Minneapolis Library Board merged with Hennepin County eight years ago, Central Library has sat at an extreme […]

Bridge Reconstruction Just April Fools’ Joke, City Says

The bright orange sign has been out there for weeks — “Road Work Beginning April 1: Expect Delays” — forcing drivers and residents to bite their nails and re-think their summer plans. But city sources revealed that the bridge closure is not happening after all. The signs were placed in an attempt to be more light-hearted […]

Stroaddale gateway signage

Southdale to Rebrand, Establish Stroaddale Preservation District

Edina, Minn — The City of Edina today announced ambitious plans to rebrand the aging Southdale District as “Stroaddale”, and to establish strict historic preservation guidelines to ensure that its low-density, stroad-oriented development is cherished for future generations. Stroaddale District is named for Stroaddale Center, and is roughly bounded by Crosstown to the north, Valley […]

Hilarious faux television promotion featuring large gathering of hipsters on a street corner.

TV’s “Real Renters of Minneapolis” to Debut in 2016

A local production company has completed casting for “The Real Renters of Minneapolis,” which promises viewers a look at the conflict that arises “when people stop living in houses, and start living on top of each other.” The show will be set in The Wedge neighborhood of Minneapolis, the heart of recent battles over development. Filming will coincide […]

Franchise Threatens to Move to AL

Minnesota Commuters United, a franchise in the Professional League of Major League Commuting Professionals, has threatened to move to Birmingham, Alabama (a city without Professional Commuting, relying instead on amateurs) unless it gets both new facilities for daily commutes, and a practice facility in the suburbs, as well as improved training at both the high school […]

Ramp R.I.P.

In Memoriam: The April 1st Parking Massacre of 2014

MINNEAPOLIS – Dignitaries from Internet comment sections and public meetings around the nation and around the world arrived in Minneapolis early Wednesday for ceremonies marking the first anniversary of the April 1st Parking Massacre. A 9:00 AM service on a windswept Glenwood Avenue sidewalk under Ramp A drew thousands of parkers mourning the over 800 […]