Top Twin Cities Urbanist Halloween Costumes for 2017!


It’s the most urbanist holiday of them all. Sidewalks full of small ghouls and rainbow unicorn ponies and teenagers with pillowcases. Minivans driving around and parking at the ends of cul de sacs hoping for full-size candy bars, but sometimes being greeted by the neighbor who gives all the kids cans of Mountain Dew, and neighbor Steve who offers adult chaperones Lite beer!

But Halloween is also a fashion issue. What to be? Who to be?

Never fear, dear reader: The trends analysis team have come up with the list of the five hottest, haute-est Halloween costumes for the modern urbanist in 2017.

#carbucks bollard

  1. A #carbucks Bollard
    This one is pretty easy! All it takes is white pants, a white shirt, and an ability to limbo. Watch out for cracks in the sidewalk, or you’ll be like the bollards found at the Starbucks drive-through at Selby and Marshall: Fallen.
  2. Ford Site Plan
    There are so many options here, ranging from the complex (dress up as the plan itself) to the easy (walk around holding a sign that says “ANY BUILDING OVER 75 FEET AND I VOTE FOR YOUR OPPONENT.” Biggest challenge of this one may be walking around looking angry all night at any party you go to.
  3. 26th Avenue Bike Lane
    Dress in black, and add the bike lanes using white electrical tape. Grab some toy cars to represent backup, and be sure to include angry motorists somehow in your costume. Please don’t include this weekend’s protesters, though, if you want to be welcome at that party you were going to, as they were not at all funny.
  4. St. Paul Parking Space
    Again, wear lots of black. Make sure you include a reference to the bike lobby, coming to get you.
  5. SWLRT Bid process
    The bid process on SWLRT is still open. The Met Council decided to reject the four bids it got. Tape a bunch of spreadsheets to yourself, and, voila: You’re a bid.


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5 Responses to Top Twin Cities Urbanist Halloween Costumes for 2017!

  1. Trevor Henry October 19, 2017 at 1:41 pm #

    You could also be the Riverview Corridor, and just not show up.

  2. Trevor Henry October 19, 2017 at 1:44 pm #

    Or, show up, but like decades too late…

  3. Trevor Henry October 19, 2017 at 1:45 pm #

    existential crisis Corridor

  4. Bill Lindeke
    Bill Lindeke October 19, 2017 at 9:08 pm #

    sorry folks, my parking meter costume is still the best. Also Phil’s luxury apartment building costume from a few years ago.

    • Trevor Henry October 19, 2017 at 9:37 pm #

      Parking Meter Bill is good

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