It’s the most urbanist holiday of them all. Sidewalks full of small ghouls and rainbow unicorn ponies and teenagers with pillowcases. Minivans driving around and parking at the ends of cul de sacs hoping for full-size candy bars, but sometimes being greeted by the neighbor who gives all the kids cans of Mountain Dew, and neighbor Steve who offers adult chaperones Lite beer!
But Halloween is also a fashion issue. What to be? Who to be?
Never fear, dear reader: The streets.mn trends analysis team have come up with the list of the five hottest, haute-est Halloween costumes for the modern urbanist in 2017.
- A #carbucks Bollard
This one is pretty easy! All it takes is white pants, a white shirt, and an ability to limbo. Watch out for cracks in the sidewalk, or you’ll be like the bollards found at the Starbucks drive-through at Selby and Marshall: Fallen.
- Ford Site Plan
There are so many options here, ranging from the complex (dress up as the plan itself) to the easy (walk around holding a sign that says “ANY BUILDING OVER 75 FEET AND I VOTE FOR YOUR OPPONENT.” Biggest challenge of this one may be walking around looking angry all night at any party you go to.
- 26th Avenue Bike Lane
Dress in black, and add the bike lanes using white electrical tape. Grab some toy cars to represent backup, and be sure to include angry motorists somehow in your costume. Please don’t include this weekend’s protesters, though, if you want to be welcome at that party you were going to, as they were not at all funny.
- St. Paul Parking Space
Again, wear lots of black. Make sure you include a reference to the bike lobby, coming to get you.
- SWLRT Bid process
The bid process on SWLRT is still open. The Met Council decided to reject the four bids it got. Tape a bunch of spreadsheets to yourself, and, voila: You’re a bid.
Please, add your ideas in the comments below!