Golden Valley, Minn — following in the footsteps of other lifestyle brands, Wisconsin-based Menard, Inc. has announced ambitious plans to expand its home improvement stores into mixed-use lifestyle centers.
“Live. Work. Save Big Money.” is the co-living concept to integrate luxury apartments with everyday low prices on popular brands.
Following market trends
Although Menards Living promises to be the first home improvement-themed lifestyle apartments, it follows the lead of Lifetime Living, an apartment concept by Chanhassen-based Life Time Fitness.
Similar concepts have also been explored by workplace brand WeWork, and in the forms of national living concepts like City Club.
“Our customers are at least as enthusiastic about meeting their home improvement needs as Life Time customers are about going to the gym,” observed Henry Menard, director of Menards Living Division.
“This expands our previous ventures in commercial real estate, and it just makes sense. Live and breathe Menards!” said Menard enthusiastically.
First site chosen in Golden Valley
The Golden Valley Menards store will be the first site of a Menards Living tower, approximately 20 stories atop the retail store — promising views of 394, downtown Minneapolis, and the Menards parking lot. Apartments with a view of the lumber yard are expected to rent at a premium.
All exterior windows will be Mastercraft vinyl sliders, and the the tower will be clad in Timbercrest vinyl siding.
Amenities will include a thoughtfully branded rooftop deck, and TVs throughout common spaces playing Menards television commercials on loop.
A Menards jingle — “plumbing, electric, appliances too” — will play in all corridors and the parking garage at all times.
Future expansion plans
Menard reports that Menards Living won’t be stopping in Golden Valley, planning apartment towers of twenty or more stories at their at West St. Paul, Eden Prairie, Richfield, and Midway St. Paul locations next.
“No matter your preferred Menards, we want you to know: you never have to leave!” reassured Menard.
Committed to affordability
Although the market price of apartments will start at $1600/mo, Menards has shown a commitment to affordable housing by offering tenants the opportunity to receive an 11% rebate each month.
They will need to submit rent receipts each month to a PO Box in Elk Mound, Wisc. with a hand-written rebate form. Rent rebates will be returned in 6 to 8 weeks, in the form of store credit.
All tenants will be able to pay rent monthly on their BIG Card. Tenants who lease in advance of the grand opening will receive a complimentary 35 oz jar of Cheese Balls.
Streets.mn reached out to Hobby Lobby, Cost Plus World Market, and Pamida regarding rumors of similar projects, but calls had not been returned at press time.
You’re adding the live to the play, but to make this a truly live-work-play site they should add a Midwest Manufacturing plant in the podium to make trusses, UltraDeck decking, Klearvue cabinetry, and most importantly Dakota laminated pressboard “wood product.” This Golden Valley site already backs up to railroad access on the Union Pacific/Luce Line industrial lead. Bring in logs, aluminum, petrochemicals, and solvents via rail, then move up to a vertically-integrated podium of manufacturing service and quality. Now that’s a DEED-worthy investment in job-creation.
Sounds like an Opportunity Zone to me!
I fell in the marion illinois store ! Menards did not even pay my medical billsl. It was thier fault i fell! Makes me wonder if they would treat thier tenants any better! Not the company i thought it was!
Just think of the raging holiday party where everyone says “Merry Christmas Merry Merry Christmas” as fast as possible. I hear Tommy Mischke will be hosting next year… http://www.mischkemadness.com/audiofiles/christmas_songs.mp3
The dining room chandelier will be one of those “vintage” fixtures with bare bulbs and random black gas pipe fittings. And I wonder if even 11% of Menards customers bother to fill out those rebates?
Really well done, Sean! The piano player in the lobby makes this luxury housing.
The Courtesy Patrol Concierge will be happy to help you with any of your needs
Great parody, but unfortunately, much, much too close to reality. This is so close to what’s actually getting planned and built, I had to give the piece a 2nd glance and go to the comments before I realized it belongs in The Onion.
These “lifestyle” apartment complexes, alongside freeways, next to big box store parking lots, are not PhotoShop fantasy. They’re the wet dream of city planners and real estate developers in every metro area suburb I’ve been to, as well as wherever the Targets, Menards, Home Depots etc. have been able to locate within the city limits.
Sadly, you had me going.
🤣 it sounds like “worry free” company in the movie “Sorry to Bother You”. 🤣
Ready I was to call my shrink until a reality check assured me that this is false advertising.
Perhaps the April 1st dateline would have clicked in!
I actually know people already staying overnight at menards, there are some sweet-ass hiding spots for the homeless!
You’re either onto something or you are on something.
So this was just an April Fool’s Day joke huh?
You must be commemorating this to the death of that black kid that died up there!