The Crank’s Cartoon Shout-outs

I am hereby naming this column “The Crank.” That’s because I’m cranky, I like bicycles, and a crank is the part of a bicycle that makes it move. With this in mind, I’d like to offer the following cartoon shout-outs.

This one goes out to the Mall of America and “American Boulevard” in Bloomington:

Put an American Flag on it


In a similar vein, this one goes out to all the big-box stores that are unreachable by walking or bicycle:

LEED Certified Buildings


This goes out to Republican climate science deniers, The American Enterprise Institute and ExxonMobil:

(No Exit) It's just a "Microclimatic Trend"


This one’s for all the vehicle donation programs whose clients are being killed by cars, like Kars4Kids. Cars kill kids, so I hope you’ll just crush all the cars you receive and recycle any usable materials!

The American Lung Association's Vehicle Donation Program


This goes out to my friends at “Citizens for Roads, Asphalt and Parking,” also known as “C.R.A.P.” …I love you guys!

Real Men Wash Dishes in Carwash


These cartoons are for the folks who think we’ll all be using self-driving, green cars in fifteen years. I have a case of beer betting against it, so you’re all invited over to my house for a drink (in fifteen years):

How Addicts Talk

We'll Believe Anything (If it helps us be lazy)


This one goes out to bicycle helmet-haters and cyclists who opposed Cleveland Avenue bike lanes out of “safety concerns”. For the love of non-motorized transportation, CAN’T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?!?

Bicycle Helmet Advocates Versus Helmet Haters


Lastly, this one goes out to Polymet Mine Corporation, Glencore PLC, the DFL and the United Mine Workers of America. Why don’t we just give out the millions of dollars per year in eternal mitigation costs to unemployed mine workers, in quarter-million dollar increments? It’d be a lot less expensive.

Earthday in the Hospital

Was that cranky enough for you? Now that I’ve pissed off everyone, I’m outta here! See you in a couple weeks. 🙂

Andy Singer

About Andy Singer

Andy Singer served as volunteer co-chair of the Saint Paul Bicycle Coalition off and on for 13 years. He works as a professional cartoonist and illustrator and has authored four books including his last, "Why We Drive," which examines environmental, land use and political issues in transportation. You can see more of his cartoons at